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Happy Furry Puppy Story Time with Norbizness: If The War in Iraq Was Breakfast at Denny's

Happy Furry Puppy Story Time with Norbizness: If The War in Iraq Was Breakfast at Denny's: "If The War in Iraq Was Breakfast at Denny's

Alternate slogan... 'Who Farted in My Mouth?'

CUSTOMER: I'd like the Grand Slam breakfast with scrambled eggs, buttermilk pancakes, and sausage links.

WAITER: Certainly, sir. I guarantee that this meal will exceed even the finest gourmet brunches of five-star hotels.

CUSTOMER: Kickass! (waiter leaves, customer reads newspaper. Five minutes passes)

WAITER #2: Sir, I regret to inform you that we've had to take the eggs off the menu. Apparently several customers have become violently ill after eating our scrumptious Denver Omelet.

CUSTOMER: Um... O.K. Say, what happened to the other waiter?

WAITER #2: He left to write the breakfast review column for The New Republic. Incidentally, sir, could you please pay up front? That'll be $13.50.

CUSTOMER: $13.50? It says $4.99 right here on the menu!

WAITER #2: WHY THE HELL DON'T YOU SUPPORT OUR CHEFS?

CUSTOMER: Fine, fine... I'm sorry. (gives the waiter the money, waiter leaves, begins reading the paper again. 10 minutes elapses.)

WAITER #3: Sir, you'll be happy to know that an independent commission of Denny's executives has been formed to discover why the sausage links are made of rancid, rabid Pomeranian meat. That'll be $40.

CUSTOMER: Who are... what the... dog meat?!? What the fuck?!?

WAITER #3: Please sir, keep it down. We've at least determined that the buttermilk pancake batter is the central front in the war on flesh-eating bacteria.

CUSTOMER: Fuck that noise, I'm leaving. My friend was right about this place all along, it's a cesspool full of disease and dishonest, slippery cretins.

WAITER #3: But THINK OF the customers in the waiting area! Now eat your Dog-sauge.

[end scene]

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Posted by Norbizness at December 8, 2006 12:15 PM"

Gristmill: The environmental news blog | Grist Magazine

Gristmill: The environmental news blog | Grist Magazine: "How to Talk to a Climate Skeptic"

Giving Hillary a Pass

Looks like Gov. Vilsack of Iowa has handed Sen. Clinton a pass to skip the Iowa primary if she does run for the 2008 Democratic Party presidential nomination. Because Iowa Gov. Vilsack's status as a "favorite son" candidate virtually guarantees Vilsack the edge in the primary voting in Iowa, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton can afford to skip the Iowa primary without taking any political hit for doing so. This is good news for Hillary supporters because former Senator (and former Dem VP candidate) John Edwards has widespread support and appeal in Iowa and would be the likely only serious challenger to Vilsack in the primary.

The question then becomes: did Vilsack enter to race to protect Hillary from an early primary loss to Edwards or does Vilsack really think he has a chance for the nomination?

I think the former but YMMV.*

* Your Mileage May Vary